04.02.2007 I HOPE THIS GAME SUCKS: SOUL NOMAD

And you said the PS2 was dead now that God of War 2 came out. Yeah you did, I saw you flirting with the PS3 finally, don't deny it. You want to take her Home, fold her up and give her all sorts of diseases. Here's one last game to sway your mind, I don't know why it isn't getting more press, since you can annihilate EVERYTHING. They even hired the best game trailer narrator of all time to describe it to us, he sounds like Lewis Black's 500 pound little brother: "The people. The creatures. Even the battle system itself. This game will let you annihilate everything. Coming 2007. It. Will. Destroy. Your. Life." (Cue shitty 2D anime RPG sprite we've seen ten thousand times before in other games).

No, the sprites aren't a let down, you just don't appreciate a good game when you see it. Did Squaresoft let you destroy even the battle system itself? Clearly we're dealing with the game of the year here, you can't compete with a game called Soul Nomad and the World Eaters, this must have been in development since the advent of anime games. You can steal from shops, or, you can steal from anyone. You can even gain 1,000 levels instantly. The industry isn't ready for what's coming. Kratos is OK, but the real fun begins when the PS2 peaks this fall with this game's release. What will you annihilate first? The title screen? The saving system? I'm going to annihilate the interface first, then work on the credits, and maybe go back and unlock some more bonus annihilation. How long do you think it will be until the PS3 also gets overrun with obscure sprite RPGs?