04.04.2007 POKEMON BANNED IN KANSAS SCHOOLS

Clearly, God hates Pokemon:

"The Kansas Board of Education approved a controversial measure yesterday that will ban all Pokemon video games, trading cards, and related merchandise because of the franchise’s blatant promotion of evolution. The vote, which passed by a narrow margin after weeks of debate amongst members of the board, is being hailed as a victory by conservatives and religious groups. Teachers will now be required to search their students at the beginning of the school day to make sure that they aren’t carrying any copies of the game. Any copies that are found will be immediately and permanently confiscated, and the student may be subject to punishments ranging from a temporary suspension to outright expulsion for repeat violators.

Many Kansas churches also held events geared towards encouraging children to drop the game, ranging from several “Pokemon burnings” where copies of the games were thrown into large bonfires, to programs that provided students with a free Bible for every game they turned in to church authorities."

Fuck them. For every DS owner there must be twenty stupid people living in America. Way to make your religion seem like serious business by going all Winona Ryder on a video game and getting a school to do your dirty work. Bonus points for taking ten years to figure out the little shits were actually having fun in school in between your brainwashing and book burning sermons. Seriously, if it takes the teachers this long to realize what the Pokemon games are all about, I'd hate to see the last time they updated their textbooks.

This has to be the most embarrassing display of religious pride I've ever seen, it's like figuring out Christmas is about Jesus half way into your teens, and viewing God as a threat to your presents. To demean a worldwide religion by declaring Ash Ketchum a threat to your belief system is despicable, and they should all be ashamed. Furthermore, what parent would condone video game burning? They probably used their wallets to pay for the game, and it also confirms they're the satanic forces who brought the demonic game into their children's lives. I'd like to see a game company offer a free copy of their game for every Bible their fans burned in Kansas, let's see how well the people would take that news.

P.S. You didn't kill charizard, idiots.