Urban Retro found this old school gamer bag, and you can check out the tutorial on how to make one of your own here. This accessory screams for strangers to come up and play with it. If you actually used the "NES Pad" you'd have to put up with false alarm theft threats all day long as mischievous gamers came up and pressed your buttons. If Jack Thompson Wears Prada, then what hell are we supposed to wear? Where's our Sony, Microsoft, and Nintendo fashion lines? I don't go out of my way to let people know I'm a gamer, but if mall brands are going to overcharge me no matter where I shop, I might as well spend my money on something I'm proud of. Like official NES kicks and Xbox 360 wheels. Sony "we own your balls" boxer shorts would be nice too. And for a limited time it's buy one get one free if you shit yourself when you see the price tag.

Your shirt moves in Atari admiration. What better way to show off your old school gaming love for Pong then to bring the game as close as healthily possible to your heart? I doubt Ralph Baer and Nolan Bushnell ever intended for Pong to involve nipple controls for an animated shirt, but I like the direction this is taking the industry in. Instead of seeing Girls Gone Wild appear on television late at night, I now look forward to seeing a Gamers Gone Wild show that focuses on fornicating with gaming themes. Tetris Sex, Super Mario Sisters, Bubble Bobble Blowjobs, Microsoftcore, Nintendykes - the possibilities of porn are endless. Much like Girls Gone Wild, this shirt runs for hours, and it's only 25 bucks for its glow in the dark pixelated prowess. It also takes two AAA batteries to run and can be safely washed by removing the animated decal - a shirt that tells you when to take a shower, now that's something useful. You can buy it here, but I suggest checking out these other gaming shirts first.

Your neck looks like this. Compare this gamer fashion with this window, and you've got a puzzle matching mini-game. I'd be afraid to fall asleep with this necklace if I was a gamer girl though, but it would definitely make a unique fatality. It would be awesome if humans die out and one day this wound up in a museum section somewhere, minus the humans dying out part. I'm sure the museum display inscription would be about evolved monkeys finally figuring out geometry. Someone would then find similar gaming rubble in Russia and the Alaska land bridge theory would once again be recycled, but to an entirely different time period. They'd also find matching skull punctures in Jack Thompson's cranial cavities and label us correctly as a violent species, and Jack would finally get the satisfaction he could not achieve in life.

PS - I had three different people email me today about login issues. If you've had similar problems, but can now comment, please let me know. For these reasons, I'm bumping the WarioWare: Smooth Moves review and game giveaway to tomorrow morning to make it fair for everyone. I'm skipping the First Impressions post because the game is both short and fucking disappointing. If you plan on buying it within the next 24 hours I would advise you to save your money.