03.13.2007 YOU KNOW YOU'RE A GAMER WHEN:

Your shirt moves in Atari admiration. What better way to show off your old school gaming love for Pong then to bring the game as close as healthily possible to your heart? I doubt Ralph Baer and Nolan Bushnell ever intended for Pong to involve nipple controls for an animated shirt, but I like the direction this is taking the industry in. Instead of seeing Girls Gone Wild appear on television late at night, I now look forward to seeing a Gamers Gone Wild show that focuses on fornicating with gaming themes. Tetris Sex, Super Mario Sisters, Bubble Bobble Blowjobs, Microsoftcore, Nintendykes - the possibilities of porn are endless. Much like Girls Gone Wild, this shirt runs for hours, and it's only 25 bucks for its glow in the dark pixelated prowess. It also takes two AAA batteries to run and can be safely washed by removing the animated decal - a shirt that tells you when to take a shower, now that's something useful. You can buy it here, but I suggest checking out these other gaming shirts first.