Yes, Mii shirts are still in style. Although I don't think Saigon whores actually require friend codes to use. They might, I just never asked. Those were the days, back in WII. Roughest war I ever lived through. We played Full Metal Slug all day long with the Vietcong in their cool basements under the sultry jungle. They made a movie about it, but they misspelled the title. I don't even know who we were fighting, but somehow Sony still lost. Also, it's nothing big like a giveaway, but expect a small surprise within the next week. It should get a few grins and plenty of groans from those of you who have been reading since day one.

No, it's not a dual screen dildo for stylus sex gameplay, and it's not a Custer's Revenge arcade game either. It's perfectly safe for work and you can see the PeriBorg gizmos below. I don't like having my controllers anywhere near food, but we've all got a few gluttonous gamer friends. These two controller-friendly utensils will let you eat and play games at the same time - combine them with the PS3 grill and you've rendered getting up for dinners with your wife and family almost useless. The couch has never looked so deliciously appealing. Although, trying to use these to eat something as simple as soup could ruin your next generation gameplay. Lean over too far for a sip and you'll crash a plane or break your skateboard. Add to that the Wiitards out there and you can expect shirt stains and stitches on top of cracked television screens in the future.

Your shirt moves in Atari admiration. What better way to show off your old school gaming love for Pong then to bring the game as close as healthily possible to your heart? I doubt Ralph Baer and Nolan Bushnell ever intended for Pong to involve nipple controls for an animated shirt, but I like the direction this is taking the industry in. Instead of seeing Girls Gone Wild appear on television late at night, I now look forward to seeing a Gamers Gone Wild show that focuses on fornicating with gaming themes. Tetris Sex, Super Mario Sisters, Bubble Bobble Blowjobs, Microsoftcore, Nintendykes - the possibilities of porn are endless. Much like Girls Gone Wild, this shirt runs for hours, and it's only 25 bucks for its glow in the dark pixelated prowess. It also takes two AAA batteries to run and can be safely washed by removing the animated decal - a shirt that tells you when to take a shower, now that's something useful. You can buy it here, but I suggest checking out these other gaming shirts first.

Do you like to listen to shitty music or look at ugly clothing models? Great! Here's Hot Topic's Legend of Zelda clothing line. They even have a cheap, metallic pin, but the rest of the retro fashion is way overpriced. Here's how much they cost:

• Nintendo Charcoal Grey Zelda Tee: $22.00 to $24.00
• Nintendo Zelda Crest Beanie: $16.99
• Legend Of Zelda Hero Of Hyrule T-Shirt: $18.00
• The Legend Of Zelda Shield Hoodie: $45.00 to $47.00
• The Legend Of Zelda Shield Pin: $4.99

The Hyrule T-Shirt actually looks like something I'd wear, but the hoodie is way past my comfort zone. I love how emo and goth kids are willing to pay for tight clothing that doesn't even keep you warm, just so they think they're unique. Then, the second they spot another person with their outrageous Powerpuff Girl fashion sense, they immediately disown it for being mainstream and go back to making Jhonen Vasquez scrapbooks. I think Hot Topic is screwing up this sale though - goth kids would love Majora's Mask memorabilia way more. They could totally relate to some dark and depressed character who hides behind a mask and hopes for the end of the world. You can check out all the old school art below, and you can order the items online here at Hot Topic's Web site.

The first video is a guy using an electric guitar to play my all time favorite Legend of Zelda song - Song of Storms. If you play guitar too, then you can get the music tabs here and try it out yourself.

The second video below is a guy using an Okinawan Shamisen instrument to play the Wind Scene song from Chrono Trigger. I don't think not wearing a shirt helped him at all, but it was still a cool sounding retro rendition. You can get the music tabs for this on guitar as well at this site. I wonder if I could convince the guy to play My Ocarina Gently Weeps.

 

A few weeks ago, Microsoft hinted that they might offer rewards for unlocking Xbox Live Achievements, and TheLastBoss reader Michael noticed an Old Spice Experience Challenge that confirmed the rewards service. On February 12, Xbox Rewards will offer registered gamers over the age of 13 that live in United States free rewards ranging from small XBLA games to entire $50 dollar games.

After you're registered, you're put into one of three Rewards Levels based on your current gamerscore:

• Level 1 (0 – 4,999 annual Gamerscore): You are developing your skills and gaining experience. Take some time to get used to the program and learn your way around. The Challenges will typically be easier and the rewards smaller.
• Level 2 (5,000 – 9,999 annual Gamerscore): We are going to turn up the heat a bit. You have proved that you know how to play and are willing to put in the gaming time to reap the benefits. The Challenges will get a bit more difficult. Never fear, the reward value goes up as well.
• Level 3 (over 10,000 annual Gamerscore): This is an arena filled with the who's who of gaming. We don't want to claim that Level 3 is an exclusive club, but if you find yourself winning Challenges here, you've obviously pulled out the big guns, so enjoy while it lasts.

In order to keep your Rewards Level, you need to continue to play better than others, so it sounds very demanding. The Rewards Levels are based on how  many Gamerscore points you gain each year. If you can raise your Gamerscore by 1,500 points from February 12th, to April 12th, then you'll get a Rewards Package listed below , as well as a Rewards Level increase.

• Level 1
  The popular Xbox Live Arcade game Contra (rated: E10+) from Konami (Retail Value $5.00)
  Exclusive Old Spice Level 1 Xbox Rewards gamer picture
  An experience upgrade to Xbox Rewards Level 2
  
• Level 2
  The popular Xbox Live Arcade game Contra (rated: E10+) from Konami
  Exclusive Old Spice Level 2 Xbox Rewards gamer picture
  100 Microsoft Points
  An experience upgrade to Xbox Rewards Level 3
  
• Level 3
  The popular Xbox Live Arcade game Contra (rated: E10+) from Konami
  Exclusive Old Spice Level 3 Xbox Rewards gamer picture    
  200 Microsoft Points
  Old Spice T-Shirt (Estimated Retail Value $10.00)
  A copy of Fuzion Frenzy 2 game (rated: E10+) (Estimated Retail Value $50.00)

Microsoft assures us that more Rewards will be on the way, with new challenges and new prizes for new Rewards Levels. So make sure you're all set up and check this site on February 12th if you're interested. Thanks Michael for the tip!

 

Everyone who has a Wii and has ran a parade has spotted at least 2 Ringo's on their Mii list before. This shirt completes the Beatles band for the full musical motif, and even adds a groanworthy play on words to their "Let it Be" song. I can see someone recreating an old Beatles album using just Miis, but I doubt it'll be as interesting as like the Daft Punk Interstella 5555 CD movie. John Lennon's Mii face makes me laugh every time though - they should make these shirts using the light emitting diode technology to make them actually move around and perform the song on command like these Philips shirts.

The first sign of assholes must be yellow shirts, who wears bright yellow shirts? Public Tetris terrorists, that's who. Proving they have more coordination and choreographic courage than the rest of the world, this mob decided to block off an entire sidewalk while they played a game of human Tetris, and they couldn't even pull off a 4 line clearing Tetris. Bump that shit up a notch on the difficulty! Pedestrians don't have time to enjoy your gaming culture social art, they've got Starbucks to devour and music tracks to change on their iPods. Gamers are so inconsiderate. If you're going to make a scene, at least recreate a banned Xbox 360 commercial and give 100s of people fear for their lives. Too bad that didn't disturb a single non gamer either, damn. What will it take for us gamers to be accepted in the world by being socially unacceptable in public? I suggest someone walks Pyramid Head through a preschool - that should do the trick.

Must outrun cops to get to my airplane gate! But first, a dark and scary man must watch me take off my shoes and grope my genitals. It's for bombs he says but I can't blame him for being attracted to such a sexy beast. Here sir, may I interest you in a variety of ways to grope me?

Check out these Wiimote extensions for the Wii Sports mini games. The golf club add-on looks like it would be a great back scratcher, or, in Mr. Groper's profession, a great way to further inspect my genitals and shoe crevices for explosives. The tennis racket could easily be flipped and function as a pan for a cooking game. Or even a frisbee, but I think that's one game we won't be seeing on the Wii for obvious reasons . . . because frisbee sucks, that's why. i don't see thepoint in needed an extension for a baseball bat though. If you're a phallic freak then just put a paper towel tube over the controller and pretend all you want.

Mr tall dark and scary opts for the tennis racket extension and suddenly I try reversing my balls' descended state just in case he's new to Wii Sports. Wait, he's grabbing my CES tickets - BOOM, headshot! His toys are so much more fun than mine. Can't allow him to take our spot in Vegas. I'll hijack the plane if I have to. I grab my laptop and ditch my luggage as a roadblock, watching the cops fall over them and knock out my shirts and ties across the floor. Oh no - I forgot my PS3! I run back for it, play Wii Boxing to get it back from the police man's grip, and we're off to our flight gate. So close! Stick with me, we'll be flying in no time!

Penny Arcade has finally managed to help the gaming charity fund reach $1 million dollars. So why stop now? Even if it's just the left over dollars and cents from holiday gift cards, try to help a gamer in need out by donating something. You can check out the official site here - just click the PayPal area to get started. You can even click a controller on the world map to choose a hospital to contribute your money to. And if you want to at least get something out of it by helping them out, then you can buy the Child's Play shirts for $18 - 100% of the cash goes to the charity. I like how it's a simple shirt with an odd color green, I'm sold.