03.29.2007 MARIO = PIMP, SONIC = BITCH
As if there was any doubt which would be which? Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games was announced yesterday and there's already an interview about what the fuck Nintendo and Sega were thinking. Representing Sega in the interview was President Simon Jeffery, and for Nintendo, good ol' Vice President Perrin Kaplan. Basically nothing new was said, and it was just them getting asked touchy questions they weren't allowed to answer, so they just defecated in each others' smiling mouths, and then made out to appear as if there was no tension in the room. Once the stench of shitty smiles finally came to an end, here were the two pieces out of the whole interview worth washing off and remembering.
Firstly, the game will be published by Nintendo in Japan and by Sega in North America and Europe, and Sega admits that Nintendo is running the show, and that Mario wears the pants in their relationship (which he actually does). It's not as bad as some sick dominatrix relationship, but I was constantly expecting to read "One of these days Sonic, bam, zoom, straight to the moon!" Which would make sense, with Super Mario Galaxy on the way.
So, other than Mario making Sonic its bitch, what else is important? The fact that Miyamoto is "involved." Jeffery brought up that "the main premise is fun, interaction and using the control mechanisms of both the Wii and the DS in unique and fun ways. We don't want the game to feel like just an iteration of Wii Sports. . . . Also, the fact that this isn't a Nintendo game--it's a Sega and Nintendo game--to have Miyamoto's involvement at this level is unprecedented." Sega giving Sonic to Nintendo as a tribal gesture of servitude, who thought we'd ever see this day? Too bad the programmers will never figure out a way to make the game's odds stacked on Mario' side, the blue dude runs faster than Reggie reads bad Sony news, the plumber doesn't stand a chance.
They also mentioned that the union of Mario and Sega in a game had been talked about for years, so yes, there is hope that Sonic will appear in Super Smash Bros. Brawl.
