Ever pay for a movie and then wish you could give all five fingers of your opinion to its director? If you live in San Francisco, and are already despising the upcoming Postal movie, then you'll get your chance soon. On August 11th, Uwe Boll will actually attend the U.S. premiere showing of his Postal movie at the San Francisco Festival of Fantastic Film, which in my opinion, is missing a few more F's in its title.

I can't wait to see how the first audiences will respond to his film, I'm sure plenty of people will walk out before its over. Things should heat up even more after the ending credits though, because after the premiere Uwe Boll plans on giving a "lively" Q&A session. And by lively, I hope it means he'll put on boxing gloves and let his viewers fight him for their refunds. Headlines of "Director Mauled by Moviegoers" would make my day.

Remember when we watched this entire movie four months ago? Me neither. The video has since been removed, but I'm sure you can find it elsewhere if you really want to put yourself through the agony of watching it. I suggest watching the movie's trailer above as a warning of what's in store before you hunt down the whole film. The release date for the movie was rumored to be June 22nd, and now that's being bumped up to June 15th in recent reports. With Spider-Man 3, Pirates 3, and Shrek 3 all out in theaters right now, I don't think Dead Or Alive's timing is too good. I can't wait to see the month-old Pirates 3 beat the D.O.A. movie on its opening weekend.

Filmmaker John Woo and video game maker Warren Spector (who has worked on Deus Ex, Thief: Deadly Shadows, and System Shock) are teaming up with 20th Century Fox's Fox Atomic to make a film called Ninja Gold, which will also be developed as a video game.

"Ninja" centers on a ninja warrior, part of a centuries-old legacy and bloodline, forced to confront the reality of covert warfare in the modern world.

"The game concept is actually based on facts that the Yakuza and the Russian mob are involved in tons of gold being stolen in South Africa," said Terrence Chang, Woo's production partner.

Ninjas in Africa? Facts? Sounds like Blood Diamond with ninjas. Just switch out Djimon Hounsou and switch in Matt Damon, and we'll call Ninja Gold the sequel to The Departed, where they take their battle to the afterlife. Known as Africa. Which is a fact. If all goes well, production will start next year, and the script had better include at least one death by gold ninja star. John Woo's production partner Terrence Chang even said they might bring the Stranglehold video game story to movie theaters. So many ninjas, so little facts.

With Halo 3's beta gaining lots of attention, and its September 25th release slowly approaching, the Halo movie hopes are being raised once again:

"That ever-elusive Halo film may soon see the light of day, according to attached producer and Hobbit scholar Peter Jackson, but that he'll only do it if Neill Blomkamp stays on as director."

Peter Jackson thinks that Halo 3's sales will speak loudly and get everybody to rethink letting this cinematic opportunity pass by. With the Legendary Edition costing $130, Microsoft and Bungie might as well finance the movie themselves, and release it as a straight-to-DVD film that costs some other outrageous price that we'll still eagerly pay to see.

Even with the few people who genuinely enjoyed the Silent Hill and Resident Evil movies, video game films have yet to be made with a level of emotion worth achieving great reviews or an Academy Award. Uwe Boll going out of his way to make a video game movie about vampire cowboys, and even his own idea for a 9/11 comedy, certainly doesn't help our credibility in the public eye at all. Although, if I asked you to come up with the worst video game movie idea possible, you'd probably say the Mario movie that we've already seen. And you'd be wrong, because 20th Century Fox thinks a Sims movie would be a big hit. A live action movie . . about the most lifeless characters in the entire industry.

Produced by John Davis, who's responsible for Eragon and Norbit making it to theaters, the Sims script is being written by Brian Lynch, who's claim to fame appears to be a minor role in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. Will we see people piss themselves? Blurred Jacuzzi scenes? An action scene involving moving a couch from one side of the room to another? If this movie actually gets made before a Halo film I'll have to start an online petition, a Sims movie is the last thing we need. I'm so agitated that I have to change the topic, here's two leaked pictures of the main actor for the Hitman movie that's in production. Thanks, Brian!

Nintendo must be sick and tired of all our amateur and unofficial Nintendo videos spreading like fireflowers online. If you've got any talent at making short films, then they're willing to premiere your mini movie at Rockefeller Center's annual Summer film showcase next month. The main rules are that it needs to be Nintendo themed and only three to five minutes long. Here are the prizes you could win: 

First Place winner:

   • Trip to New York City for the winner and a guest
   • Film screened at Nintendo Short Cuts Showcase at Rockefeller Center
   • $10,000 in cash
   • Exclusive meeting with Craig Hatkoff, co-founder of the Tribeca Film Festival
   • Wii & Wii software
   • Nintendo DS Lite & Nintendo DS software

Second and Third Place:
   • Film screened at Nintendo Short Cuts Showcase at Rockefeller Center
   • Wii & Wii software

7 Finalists will each receive:
   • Nintendo DS Lite & Nintendo DS software

Ten different winners? Damn, I might even give this a try, the majority of the entries will probably be middle schooler fanboys who can't work a camera. If any of you submit a video be sure to YouTube it up and share it with the rest of us. The submissions deadline is June 6th, and you can read the official rules here.

Launching a crazy movie based on your game series does two things to your future games. It pisses off a lot of people, and makes them not want to ever give your  games any attention. And for the people who thoroughly enjoy the movie's controversy, they expect just as much to be delivered from the next game. Which is why, these three pictures of a street that will make it onto PCs and Xbox 360s next year look pretty good graphics wise, but are really disappointing. I expected to see something along the lines of Osama Bin Laden telling Gary Coleman to put his mouth on the curb.

So, what will the BloodRayne sequel movie be about? Nudity? Killing school children? Bin Laden? Nope, that's Postal. Well, we can't rule those out yet, but I don't think Bin Laden is a vampire, otherwise he would have just flown himself into the World Trade Center to take care of business by himself. Here's what the trailer shows: "The old west just got wilder . . . With a new breed of cowboys . . . Who only come out at night." Ohhh, you mean Midnight Cowboy? Nope, that's the weird prostitute cowboy movie that won 3 Oscar awards, something Uwe Boll knows nothing about.

So are they cowboys or vampires? Vampboys? Cowpires? Do they ride on horses or suck their blood? Do their horses have names? Will there be a scene where a Cowvamp walks into a bar and spits blood into a spittoon? These are all questions I'm sure Uwe Boll will answer for us, and they're all answers I'm not interested in finding out. This movie looks terrible even by Uwe Boll standards.

Transformers fans will have twice the amount of fun waiting for them on the DS version of the upcoming game, and I'm not talking about double the screens:

"Vicarious Visions is creating two versions of the DS Transformers game, one for Autobot fans and one for Decepticon supporters. All you have to do is pick your side when the game launches on 20th July, then go head-to-head with the opposing side using Wi-Fi multiplayer."

Gotta kill'em all? There will be global player leaderboards if you're up for taking sides and exploring the unique content, such as Antarctic levels for Autobots and desert environments for the Decepticons. If you just want to play the game and not spend twice the money and time on it, the Transformers game is also coming out for just about every platform there is, with 20 story and 20 challenge missions to play through. They should make a DS game where you play on the interactive bottom screen and can see your enemy play on the top screen, to make it more challenging for both of you. Has that been tried yet on the DS? I'm not putting any money on the games, just the movie, which comes out on June 29th in theaters.

The list of gaming adaptations for the movie 300 continues. First it was Halo 300, then it was Kingdom Hearts, followed by 300 Pokemon, and now it's Xbox 360's turn. Thanks to reader Sean Kennedy who found this video over on StarterUpSteve's site. The concept is as simple as 300 (+60) Xbox consoles going to war against all of Sony's army, with each of the key scenes recreated in classic flash cartoon style. They even work in the original boomerang PS3 controllers for the blotting out the sun bow and arrows scene. You can watch it here, thanks for the great tip Sean!