The BBPS found this fake Punch-Out! video of Michael Jackson versus Macaulay Culkin in a battle I'm glad I've never played. Fighting as Little Macaulay instead of Little Mac, and changing the last boss from Mike Tyson to Michael Jackson, makes this one of the most disturbing parodies I've ever seen. I was scared for Macaulay's safety against the Jester Molester formerly known as the King of Pop, but the Home Alone kid puts up a good fight. Thanks go to Mike L. Mayfield, whose 2D animations make me never want to play 8-bit boxing ever again.

The Virtual Console shit sandwich pattern continues to stack higher. Shit, bread, shit, bread:

Punch Out!! Featuring Mr. Dream (NES, 1 player, 500 Wii Points): As young boxer Little Mac, players have a once-in-a-lifetime chance to battle the big guys of the World Video Boxing Association circuit. Take them on one by one, starting with skinny Glass Joe. Battle up through King Hippo and all the way to the WVBA Champion himself. Players use their best jabs, hooks and power uppercuts to knock out opponents, but must pay attention to subtle changes in their body position to dodge jaw-breaking blows. With great graphics, addictive action and a touch of humor, this game will keep players entertained for hours.

Virtua Fighter 2 (Sega Genesis, 1-2 players, 800 Wii Points): Virtua Fighter was the very first 3-D fighting game in the industry and introduced six unique characters, each with their own martial arts style. In Virtua Fighter 2, the intrepid fighters return to the World Fighting Tournament. Players take to the stage to see who will claim the championship title. Will it be Lau Chan, Kage-Maru, Wolf Hawkfield, Jeffry McWild, Akira Yuki, Jacky Bryant, Sarah Bryant or Pai Chan? The answer lies within. Players immerse themselves in this technically challenging game and see if they have what it takes to be the champion of the second World Fighting Tournament.

Bonk's Revenge (TurboGrafx16, 1 player, 600 Wii Points): The "hardheaded" hero is back for more in the second installment of the Bonk series. Taking place in the Monster Kingdom, Bonk the Caveman makes his way toward King Drool III. Bonk's Revenge is a side-scrolling action game in which players Jump and "Bonk" (head-butt) their enemies while they make their way to the goal at the end of each stage. Double, even triple, attack power by eating the meat that appears in a stage. There are eight different hidden bonus stages, and the Dinosaur Train that appears after players defeat a boss will change depending on how many Smileys they've collected. With new actions such as the Triangle Jump and the ability to climb trees, as well as seven variety-packed stages, Bonk's Revenge will keep players playing over and over.

TheLastBoss is pleased, Mike Tyson (the real Mr. Dream) is one of the most notorious last bosses we've ever known. I expect to see a few more broken TV Wii stories pop up this week - it's hard to think of a more frustrating Nintendo nightmare from the past. How far could you guys get before you'd run into trouble? Mr. Sandman is usually when I'd start punching with profanities.

According to GoNintendo, Nintendo filed for a Punch-Out!! trademark in April 2005, and then once again in January 11th. They could be just updating the patent, but after seeing Wii Sports boxing I wouldn't be surprised if they had another installment to the series in mind. They'd have to put a lot of work into it though, almost everyone I know hated Wii Boxing more than any of the other Wii Sports mini-games. It would be interesting to see how hard they made the game for the kid-friendly Wii system. NES might have been played only by children back in the day, but I have still never been able to get past either of the versions' last bosses without cheat codes. I could see another Punch Out game breaking a lot of TVs.

Remixed NES music is enough to get excited about, but when a band plays Punch Out music in a club gathered around TKO Punch Out videos, it gets my pixelated pubes sticky. These guys' green hats make them one power glove short of legendary -- I expect nothing less than the scene above greeting me when I die and pass on to gamer heaven.

 

Nintendo really has come full circle, 20 years from their NES days and they're re-releasing 'teh Suck Hunt' for another generation of gamers to get pissed at. I am willing to bet my Wii that at least 20 Wiimotes break in the next year alone from Duck Hunt's aggravating controller throwing tendencies. All they had to do was announce Kid Icarus would be on the Virtual Console and they'd have enough fanboys applauding to make the VC's success, but they've announced 7 other new games for us to look forward to, including one of the baddest mothafucking Last Bosses of all time . . .

• Duck Hunt (E for Everyone)
• Hogan’s Alley (E for Everyone)
• Kid Icarus (E for Everyone)
• Kirby’s Adventure (E for Everyone)
• Pilot Wings (E for Everyone)
• Pro Wrestling (E for Everyone)
• Punch-Out (E for Everyone)
• Wild Gunman (E for Everyone)