06.04.2007 OPOONA BATTLE TRAILER

Three months ago, TLB reader Dexter345 and I pieced together the mystery behind the Wii game Opoona. That it's not the horrible looking, lifeless, visually impotent game that it appears to be. It's a sexual odyssey that takes children deep into the Japanese perverse psyche. Sure, the awful gameplay tactics might look like a retarded revisiting to Wakka's FFX heroic dodgeball combat skills, but don't be fooled so easily, in reality it's a profound pollination metaphor. For teabagging. Helping you in combat is General Ovary Ourumov on the right, and Captain Condom on the left. We've already seen penis battles, and this video steps it up a notch with plenty of freaky STD tentacle enemies. There's still no release date announced yet, so we'll just have to save up our skeet strategies until next year for an explosion of joy when it finally gets released.