03.16.2007 OPOONA GAMEPLAY FOOTAGE: EWWWW

Let's recap - two days ago we were told about a Wii RPG game that doesn't use the Wiimote:

"Opoona is controlled without touching the Wiimote whatsoever. We only have a brief description of combat from Koei, but they claim movement and "Active Bombom Battle," which encompasses the game's combat scenarios, is controlled entirely by the nunchuck, allowing for one-handed play. Snapping the nunchuck fires projectiles at enemies, whose trajectory can be changed by moving the nunchuck."

Sounds really interesting . . . until you watch this video. "Opoona" is also the name of the main character, who looks exactly like the shitty cartoon character Ziggy if he ate a moogle and cross dressed with Space Channel 5 clothing. I don't think even Miyamoto could save a game like this. The graphics look less imaginative than Blue Dragon's dull cartoon style, and the main walking animation feels as frumpy as the Nintendo 64 quality environments.

However. I do want to rent this game. I didn't buy the Wii for graphics, but this game's lock-on imaginary grid gameplay doesn't look too exciting either. So why is this game worth a rental? Because at three and a half minutes into the video, you fight what is undeniably a penis head monster. Name one other game that has a penis head monster in it. Is it a circumcised monster for extra battle defense? Does it literally shoot yellow piss rays from its face? I rest my case. PEE FIGHT!

Maybe we're underestimating this game, and it's actually a sexual journey in disguise. That would explain those weird balls hanging over everyone's heads - once your testicles descend you level up and finally start having some fun. You only use one hand to play this game for a reason, yes, it all makes sense now. O-poon-a. Dexter345 was right. This game is genius.

comments disabled | Digg This Tags: OPOONA, PENIS HEAD MONSTER, RPG, VIDEO, WII

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There are 6 comments about this post:

03/16/2007 09:15
Samuel says
That game looks obnoxious. I'm all for using the Wii's motion sensing to aim guns and slash swords but that head ball thing looks stupid. But the thing is you never know what it'll be like until you try it.
 
03/16/2007 09:35
lawl says
JACOB'S NOT LEAVING MOM, HE'S SPENDING THE NIGHT!
 
03/16/2007 11:15
allen says
It doesn’t seem possible, but the Japanese are actually getting weirder.
 
03/16/2007 13:11
Monty says
They all look like penis's... definitely worth a rental along with some drinking....
 
03/17/2007 09:02
Subnet6 says
yeah, this game could totally go either way. This video has me interested though. I will definitely be watching this game more closely now. Personally, I love non-traditional looking/playing games and new experiences. I don't want every game to look and play the same. that being said, you end up with some turds but you end up with some gems.
 
03/18/2007 12:20
Dexter345 says
Big ups for the shout out... Yeah, a lot of the times the Japanese hide little references to their crazy sex practices, but this seems like a pretty blatant coming of age (pun intended) story for little Poon-poon.
 

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