Last week's American Virtual Console versus European Virtual Console competition was an easy decision for me, Europe got Super Mario Bros. 2, but my winning vote goes to whichever team has Streets of Rage 2. Which is why, even though America got ActRaiser, Kid Chameleon, and J. J. & Jeff, I've got to go with the European Virtual Console releases this week: Streets of Rage 2, ToeJam and Earl in Panic on Funkotron, Kid Chameleon, World Sports Competition. The first three are all available for 800 Wii Point, and the World Sports Competition will cost you only 600 Wii Points.

In other Virtual Console news, so far Nintendo has sold more than 4.7 million Virtual Console games, at a rate of over 1,000 downloads and hour. They've finally reached their 100th game retro re-release, and on Monday they plan on making the triple digit release plunge with Zelda II – The Adventure of Link. Of all the Zelda games ever released, Zelda II has generally been accepted as the worst in the series, but at least we get another Zelda game to revisit.

The best thing about 2D Mario, is that you can make just about every 3D Mario game before it ever comes out with the original blueprints. Is Nintendo taking too long to make Super Mario Galaxy for the Wii? No problem, order some pixel cranes and bits and bytes bulldozers, and destroy the very ground Mario walks on. And challenge him to find a way through space. How does he do it? He's seen Pirates of the Caribbean III already, he knows that the answer to any impossible problem is as simple as riding on a turtle's back.

Every week there's a new site with a new crazy 2D Mario video claiming to find the absolutely hardest Mario game ever, but I think Siliconera has finally found the craziest of them all. A world where no floor or ceiling exists, turtles float, and simple plumbing pipes go through interstellar black holes to new levels in another Super Paper Mario dimension. At this rate, it won't be long until Mario finds a warp pipe to just about every Nintendo game ever made. The day Epona trips over a pipe protruding from Hyrule's ground, is the day I stop paying for video games forever. Link truly would be the Hero of Time, with all the games within his reach for free. I never trusted that Malon guy for a second. I always knew he was up to no good.

You've seen the Legend of Zelda Wii mod, and this is the same thing, but with a DS Lite and different colors. Not much to say, but it's worth looking at, and knowing that it's on eBay for fucking $660 bucks. Jeez.

To fill up some space I'll let you in on an embarrassing secret of mine. Some of my friends are lame dorks, and for some reason they're convinced that saying "that's how I rule" is a way of solving things with pure testosterone. Being the man that I am, it's the gayest shit ever and drives me nuts to hear people say it, no matter how small or joking they might be. So one day my friend and I got into a dispute over whether or not Link ever fucked Epona in between a cut-scene and gameplay. My friend argued to no end that it was impossible, totally overlooking the fact that maybe the last note of Epona's song has been missing all along, and that's why a damn horse comes running across the land whenever you start sticking your fingers in holes and blowing to get a song playing - Ocarina of it's Time to get dirty!

Yet you disappoint and mount Epona all wrong every single time without finishing the song. My friend refused to believe it was even possible, and boomed out nonsensically "Cuz that's how I rule," which pushed me to such an extreme of hate and bad emotional judgement to declare back at him, "Oh, yah, well this is how HY-rule!" I've regretted it ever since. Although in my defense, it's still not as gay as saying "This is how I rule." That is all. There will be a test on Monday, so make sure you study.

Facepunch Studios appears to be a gathering for gamers with ambitious 3D projects, and the group yielding the most interesting results lately is the Twilight Princess crowd. It started when "??UnKnOwN??" ripped some of the 3D models from the game, but kept excited members in the dark as he or she cleaned up the 3D meshes and enhanced the quality of the character textures. Just recently though, member "DONOTWANT" came out of nowhere with 40 different character meshes ripped for download, and the fanboy floodgates have been unleashed.

What this all means, is that if you have 2D and 3D manipulation software, like Photoshop and 3D Studio Max, you can do whatever the hell you want to the Twilight Princess characters. Anything. I just opened up a few of them in 3D Max and checked out a few of their textures too, it's the real thing. And if you're into making mods, you could easily rig the models and animate them in Garry's mod. Ok, it's not that easy, rigging each polygonal vertex can be a huge bitch to do well, and coding always gives people headaches, but getting your hands on these kind of files is the hardest step in the process to making Link fight G-man or finally beating the shit out of Midna with the gravity gun. Expect some convincing April Fool's jokes to pop up next year! If I have some free time tonight I'll mesh around with the files more, but grab the winrar downloads before they disappear. If any of you are interested in pursuing this further, lemme know and I'll try to decently rig the models for you this weekend. Any Twilight Princess fight animation requests?

Update: We're all greedy little Zelda lovin' bastards, and I'm already getting a bunch of emails that the downloads in the other sites' forums aren't working anymore. Their servers must be getting slammed, keep checking back if the downloads aren't working for you. Or, feel free to upload the winrar files on another site and help point others to alternate download locations. Thanks for being patient.

Update 2: Just added over twenty pictures from the Facepunch Studios forums - you can see Link, Midna, and others in various poses below. People have the characters in rigging editors, are working on collision detection, and even throwing some of them into Garry's mod. And there's already a slightly NSFWish picture too, so be warned. Also, I'm being told you can also download the 3D files here.

It's all fun and games until someone gets their head chopped off. That's not True Swords' slogan, and they probably don't condone killing in the name of video games, but they sure do have a lot of gaming related weapons. Pretty much any famous anime or game character weapon is up for sale, and prices range from twenty bucks to two hundred bucks, although most are around $40 to $50.

If you're the type that blows entire paychecks on swords they'll never use, then you're going to look like an idiot holding it in public no matter what, so you might as well blow the money on a cool game collectible. And if you're a kid with emotional problems, and plan on pulling a Columbine, please don't use these weapons for your killing spree. The underground gamers' network can contaminate crime scenes with Marilyn Manson CDs and point fingers without much effort, but if you cut off some bully's head with a fucking keyblade, well that's going to take some more effort.

You can see a few of the swords below, they all seem to come in steel, so they should be pretty durable. I wouldn't be surprised if they all turn out to be like the Giant's Knife though, I wouldn't suggest swinging them around too much. It's only a matter of time until someone kills their friends with the Advent Children sword due to blades coming unhinged. Which weapon would you want the most? I always thought the gunblade was a cool idea so I'd probably go with that.

I bought an NES skin for my Wii from here for fifteen bucks and I love it, but this Wii altering is a complete mod that must have taken a week or more to make. Jeremy painted the Wii base the same hue of gold as the limited edition Ocarina of Time Nintendo 64 cartridge, and the Hyrule shield and Master Sword come from the special edition Zelda soundtrack. Although the true geek factor kicks in when you plug it in and see the white LEDs illuminate from behind the Triforce and shield. And while you're sitting through loading times you can even slide out the sword and use it to scratch your back.

Right now the eBay auction has it priced at 385 dollars, but there's still 9 days left of bidding. Here's the eBay auction (caution - music plays on the page), and below are more pictures of the paint job and LEDs.

I didn't expect to see any new videos of the far off Zelda DS game Phantom Hourglass, but GameTrailers.com got a chance to play this mini-multiplayer game at GDC. You and another player take turns controlling and guiding Link and three armed enemies. When you're Link you've got to run away from your opponent's paths and take a piece of the triforce from one side of the maze to the other, and if you don't make it, it's your turn to surround Link and give him some lashings. The animations are smooth and the drawing interface looks easy to use - hopefully GameTrailers will have some more minigame videos up later today.

Do you like to listen to shitty music or look at ugly clothing models? Great! Here's Hot Topic's Legend of Zelda clothing line. They even have a cheap, metallic pin, but the rest of the retro fashion is way overpriced. Here's how much they cost:

• Nintendo Charcoal Grey Zelda Tee: $22.00 to $24.00
• Nintendo Zelda Crest Beanie: $16.99
• Legend Of Zelda Hero Of Hyrule T-Shirt: $18.00
• The Legend Of Zelda Shield Hoodie: $45.00 to $47.00
• The Legend Of Zelda Shield Pin: $4.99

The Hyrule T-Shirt actually looks like something I'd wear, but the hoodie is way past my comfort zone. I love how emo and goth kids are willing to pay for tight clothing that doesn't even keep you warm, just so they think they're unique. Then, the second they spot another person with their outrageous Powerpuff Girl fashion sense, they immediately disown it for being mainstream and go back to making Jhonen Vasquez scrapbooks. I think Hot Topic is screwing up this sale though - goth kids would love Majora's Mask memorabilia way more. They could totally relate to some dark and depressed character who hides behind a mask and hopes for the end of the world. You can check out all the old school art below, and you can order the items online here at Hot Topic's Web site.

First 4 Figures just sent word that they've completed a new collectible gaming figurine - a Legend of Zelda Sheik statue. Their company is on a roll lately, just two weeks ago they came out with an even better looking Metroid Zero Suit Samus statue. This toy is just as elaborate as the rest - it's cast in high quality poly-stone, and all 9 inches of it is hand painted. Only 2,500 were made though, so if you're willing to pay $109.99 for one once they come out in Autumn later this year, make sure you pre-order here.

Her eye makes her look a little Bernie-Mac-ish, but to be fair, Sheik has always had a slight case of Down Syndrome. If a Zelda crossdresser isn't your kind of kinky, then make sure you check out the other Zelda toys in the series: Fierce Deity Link, Skull Kid, or Ocarina of Time Link. The Deity Link and Skull Kid look pretty ritzy, I'd suggest spending your cash on those first if they're still available. Here's the bigger pictures showing what Sheik looks like up close.

Every good Zelda game has plenty of Easter egg secrets hidden in it, and Twilight Princess is no exception. I've seen lists in the past that have discovered many of the game's lesser known details, but it's nice to have them shown to you so you can recreate the tricks in your own game saves. Some are as simple as Mario references hidden in character art, and others are more helpful, like getting a free speed boost from Epona. The most obvious of them all was when we figured out that you could break Zelda tradition and take control of a cucco by attacking it repeatedly, instead of being beaten down by the birds like in the past games. There's a good suggestion for getting easy rupees, and a fun aesthetic tip for your sword use too. It would be cool if Nintendo made a Ganon game, where you start as a young boy and get to grow into your villainous future. I'd love to get more looks at Gerudo's past.