05.30.2007 VIDEO: TOP TEN DOUCHEBAGS OF GAMING

ScrewAttack is back with another Top 10 list for us. This time they focus on the biggest video game douchebags, and you should immediately know exactly who the top two rankers are. Thankfully, they don't disappoint at the end, here's their full list:

  • 10. Wario
  • 9. Superman
  • 8. Michael Jackson
  • 7. Dr. Robotnik
  • 6. Ruffians
  • 5. The Burger King
  • 4. Bowser
  • 3. Psycho Mantis
  • 2. Jack Thompson
  • 1. The Duck Hunt Dog

The Burger King was a nice addition to a mostly predictable list. No matter how much nonsense comes from Jack Thompson's mouth, he'll never compare to the canine we've all wanted to kill at one point in our lives. Who would you add to the list?

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04.11.2007 SCREW ATTACK'S TOP TEN GAMECUBE GAMES

ScrewAttack has gone out of their way to make yet another great video for gamers to enjoy and debate. This time it's their opinion on the top ten best GameCube games, as a farewell to the dying console that was arguably dead since day one. As usual, I agree with their picks, just disagree on their order, here's how they ranked them:

  • 10. Eternal Darkness: Sanity's Requiem
  • 9. Ikaruga
  • 8. Soul Calibur II
  • 7. Viewtiful Joe
  • 6. Super Mario Sunshine
  • 5. Animal Crossing
  • 4. Super Smash Bros. Melee
  • 3. Metroid Prime
  • 2. Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
  • 1. Resident Evil 4

I don't really feel right calling Twilight Princess a GameCube game, it's something we wanted ever since they showed that damn GameCube E3 tech demo with Link fighting Ganon in impressive 3D graphics, yet we didn't get it until the Wii came out. Eventually we got Wind Waker, which was definitely much better than expected, but putting off a single game for an entire console's lifespan, and then dumping it on the Wii to make us follow them on a risky idea was despicable.

I'd take Twilight Princess off this list and exile it to whatever the Wii's outcome is, and throw Wind Waker on this list near the top. Then I'd try to squeeze Pikmin in on the bottom somehow, bump up Eternal Darkness to mid-list, and probably move Super Smash Bros. Melee to the number two slot. I hate the Resident Evil games, and even though Resident Evil 4 was the change I always wanted from the series, I still didn't like it that much. I can recognize a great game when I play one though, even if I don't like it, so I'm happy with it on top. What would you guys change? What's your number one picks?

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03.15.2007 TOP TEN BEAT EM UP GAMES

ScrewAttack is back with another Top 10 video for us - this time they attack the beat 'em up genre. There rules aren't strict, they're just looking for arcade style fun, but I completely disagree with their list:

  • 10. Batman Returns
  • 9. Golden Axe
  • 8. Battletoads
  • 7. Streets of Rage 2
  • 6. River City Ransom
  • 5. Guardian Heroes
  • 4. Final Fight
  • 3. Double Dragon
  • 2. The Simpsons
  • 1. TMNT Turtles in Time

I don't care how many times I dressed up as a Ninja Turtle for Halloween when I was a kid, and I don't care how cool saying "BARF!" is while using your buddy as a weapon - everyone knows the best beat 'em up of all time is Streets of Rage 2. The only one of these games I haven't played is the Sega Saturn game Guardian Heroes, which does sounds pretty awesome, but there's no way it could top Streets of Rage 2. For five summers in a row my whole block would play Streets of Rage 2 every night - if we occasionally played hide and go seek tag in the dark instead, we lost half the block of players. It took both Goldeneye 64 and Super Smash Bros. 64 to overcome our Rage addiction. Basically, it took almost all of Nintendo 64 to beat one old school game. What do you guys think of the list?

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02.22.2007 TOP TEN GAME SECRETS

Screw Attack's top ten boobs in video games list put me in a mood. No, not for porn, but for more Top 10 lists, and Screw Attack isn't new to these topic. Here's their classic top ten game secrets list from last year - I like how each year passes but we still look to retro games for the best secrets and cheats. Of all ten games on the list, only one was released in recent years:

  • Mega Man - pause trick
  • Street Fighter II - mirror match
  • Legend of Zelda - second quest code
  • Mortal Kombat - blood enabled
  • Grand Theft Auto San Andreas - hot coffee mod
  • Altered Beast - cartridge swap
  • Sonic the Hedgehog - debug mode
  • Metroid - Justin Bailey cheat
  • Contra - Konami code
  • Super Mario Bros. - sewers warp pipes
Pretty good list, although I think a random level from Wolfenstein 3D's Dark Secret chapter deserves a spot among the rest - I can't think of any other game that has a hundred secret passages in a single level. Can you think of any other cheats or secrets that should be on the list?
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02.21.2007 TOP TEN BOOBIES IN VIDEO GAMES

ScrewAttack has another video out, but this time they're not helping us financially by previewing a new game. This is a loving look back on all the best video game boobs in the industry's history, and when it starts with God of War, and Lara Croft doesn't take the tit trophy, you know it's not that bad. They've even included an obscure game that I've never heard of, where the game's objective is to slap breast monsters before they use their racks as helicopter blades to fly away. That rivals Katamari Damacy in genius, but the rest of the list is pretty cut and dry with winners from popular franchises. Here's all ten of them if the name of the list isn't enough incentive for you to watch the video:

  • God of War
  • BloodRayne
  • Stretch Panic
  • Tekken series
  • Rumble Roses wrestling girls
  • Lara Croft - Tomb Raider
  • Dead or Alive series (bouncing boobs for the first time)
  • Dead or Alive Xtreme Volleyball
  • Outlaw Golf
  • The Guy Game (Real women)

I was surprised the Japanese Oneechanbara vorteX game wasn't included though - here's why: this video.

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02.20.2007 VIRTUA FIGHTER 5 PREVIEW

Virtua Fighter 5 just came out today for the PS3, and ScrewAttack went out and bought it to show us what it's like before spending the money ourselves. Luckily he skipped past the seven minutes of load time when you first start the game up. After that it wasn't completely smooth sailing either - he brings up some small annoyances with the player select interfaces, but emphasizes that the only real issue is that the load times before matches are longer than he expected.

Once the match starts the game definitely delivers with the next gen details - the snow level he focuses on has exactly the type of advancements we need to see more of on PS3 and 360. Although, the game does pull a Wii - there's no friggin online play. That's supposed to be the one thing we can count on only Nintendo fucking up on, it's sad to see a multiplayer game like this only offline. There's some fake arcades in the game that you can travel to and fight fictional players at, but I've got better things to do with my time. If you don't have a PS3, it'll also be out later this year for Xbox 360, but that won't be until autumn at the earliest, so don't expect to be playing any time soon.

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02.08.2007 TOP TEN COOLEST CHARACTERS

ScrewAttack has put together another Top 10 list - this time they've picked out what they believe to be the coolest ten characters in video games, allowing for only one character to be chosen from each series.  I agree with some of their picks, but not with their order at all - bump number eight up a few notches. Here they are:

  • 10. Guile
  • 9. Mega Man
  • 8. King of the Cosmos
  • 7. Earthworm Jim
  • 6. Ninja Ryu Hayabusa
  • 5. Snake
  • 4. Lara Croft
  • 3. Dante
  • 2. Cloud
  • 1. Duke Nukem 

I think their number one pick is pretty good though, I can't think of a better best pick. Maybe Kratos will replace Duke Nukem in another few months.

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