And by kinda, I mean you'd better bring along a plastic bag when you play it, so that when someone else walks in the room and sees the shit you can pick it up and apologize for shitting on their TV screen. Don't get me wrong, I bought a PS3 and 360 for awesome graphics and the long term investment, and I bought the Wii purely for innovative gameplay and all its possibilities. I don't expect great graphics from most Nintendo games, but the one game that warrants top of the line visuals is definitely Metroid Prime 3: Corruption. These pictures look okay at best, when they should be above and beyond what's already out on store shelves for the Wii.

I don't see how Nintendo can give some dude in overalls these awesome graphics, and then somehow make a cybernetic space pirate bounty hunter game on the Wii look possibly worse than its GameCube predecessors. I don't care at all if games like Manhunt 2 look terrible, but where's those 2-3 times better-than-GameCube graphics the Wii is supposed to deliver? Even fucking Luigi's Mansion looks better than this. I can't even tell what's going on in this picture, is Samus holding a black bowling pin? Because we already own Wii Bowling, and it looks better than this piece of shit.

Today's one big Nintendo sandwich, with some tasty ingredients. A rumor in the newest Game Informer magazine is saying that Nintendo will be packing up and relocating their American  offices soon. No big deal, take off the bread and chow down on this meaty meal that Nintendo President Satoru Iwata served us: 

"It will be from around the end of this summer to the end of this year. We will then launch a new title of Super Mario Galaxy, Super Smash Bros. Brawl and Metroid Prime 3: Corruption although the last one is primarily for the overseas markets. These will be the key titles for the period ranging from the summer until the holiday sales season of this year, and I think we will be able to cater to the specific needs you mentioned."

The investors are concerned why things are taking so long, and he filled them in that it's just typical Nintendo style polishing, shoving the sandwich down their throats before we even get a nibble. Okay Nintendo, continue to take your time, but I'm friggin starving here.

In 2006 we were told Metroid Prime 3: Corruption would come out in the winter right after Wii's release. We saw the Wiimote morph ball commercials and couldn't wait to play the last game in the trilogy. "Late 2006" quickly changed to "after March" which then turned into "when it's perfect" and is now "maybe the last day of 2007" according to Best Buy. If you pre-ordered Metroid Prime 3 from Best Buy online then expect to see the message above in your email inbox. Maybe Best Buy is just afraid that Nintendo will continue the game's delays and doesn't want to put off pissed off customer complaints, but it might also be Nintendo quietly pushing back the release date while we're already stuck in a drought. My parents and grandparents might not care that their "family" game console is collecting dust, but I expect some explanations Reggie. Most places online have the release date set for June 1st, which is completely acceptable, yet probably not true. I feel like I'm playing Keno whenever I'm reporting Nintendo news, hopefully there's no more delays and Super Paper Mario keeps us busy.

Nintendo sent out an official release schedule for their future Wii games - here's what we can expect over the next few months:

• April 9 - Super Paper Mario - Nintendo
• April - Prince of Persia Rival Swords - Ubisoft
• April - Bust-A-Move Bash - Majesco
• April - Bioncle Heroes - Eidos
• May 15 - Mortal Kombat: Armageddon - Midway
• May 29 - Mario Party 8 - Nintendo
• May - Tamagotchi Party On - Namco Bandai
• May - Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End - Disney Interactive
• May - Escape from Bug Island - Eidos
• May - Spider-Man The Movie 3 - Activision
• June 11 - Big Brain Academy - Nintendo
• June 25 - Pokemon Battle Revolution - Nintendo
• June - Cosmic Family - Ubisoft
• Spring - Heatseeker - Codemasters
• Q2 - Legend of the Dragon - American Game Factory
• Summer - Shrek the Third - Activision
• Summer - Transformers the Game - Activision

Super Paper Mario and Mario Party 8 will be a great gift from Nintendo, but I definitely won't be playing my Wii this summer unless this list expands, which is very possible. Come on Reggie, why does everything have to get pushed back to autumn and winter?

Nintendo is expected to talk about their online gaming today at GDC, as well as why we must wait so damn long for Super Smash Bros. Brawl, Metroid Prime 3, and others. SSBB delays make total sense - they announced the game publicly shortly after starting on the project, which is rare in the industry that loves having something to show for when announcing new games. But there's no reason for Metroid Prime 3 delays, it's pretty obvious that they're still working on Wiimote issues to make sure it won't disappoint.

Rumors are more fast and furious than Vin D&D lovin' Diesel himself, so while some rumors deserve their own posts to spread lies and agony throughout the week, others are worth just mentioning together in one vile gathering of gab. Here's some recent ones that are floating around, feel free to take them as fact and do as much harm as possible:

• Mario Galaxy delayed to Christmas 2008, with Metroid Prime 3 releasing in between April and June and being the first game with online play for the Wii.
• Brief supposed details about Resident Evil for the Wii.
• Game Informer mentions Super Smash Bros Brawl release in June.

If this leave you depressed, you should know that Legend of Zelda: Link to the Past for SNES is now up on the Wii's virtual console.

Oh yah, and the Crackdown demo will supposedly be available Tuesday morning (tomorrow) at 2 AM on Xbox Live Marketplace.

The Nintendo Wii wins the Theme of the Week post this time around, first let's do some quick review before getting to the new gaming news:

• Best Wiimote injury ever caught on tape
  
• Don't have any Wii friends? Stalk them.
• Animal Crossing Wii rumors.
  
• Bored with your Wii Internet already? Wii Radio.
• Bored with the whole Wii already? Watch movies on it. Or porn....
  

And here's what is supposed to be what the game cover of Mario Party 8 on the Wii will look like - don't forget to watch what its Wiimote gameplay will look like.

Also, for you nitpicky gamers, as you can see in the image above, the Wii and Gamecube have been compared stat for stat.

And here's some brand new Metroid Prime 3: Corruption details for the highly anticipated Wii game. Nintendo recently held an invite event for the game that left people walking out of the get together spouting off that Metroid Prime 3 "looks better than Halo 2 did on the Xbox." Notice they didn't say Xbox 360, but that's still impressive. However, they did just walk out of a Nintendo invite event, we know how the industry loves to coerce news sites. But they also offered some actual descriptions of what to expect:

"Corruption takes full advantage of the first-person perspective to make you part of the action. There’s also a new hyper mode in which Samus can fill up her phazon supply to a certain point to push her into a heightened period of speed and power. Push the phazon limit too far and it will overload her armor and you’ll be seeing a game over screen. Finally, word is that at long last Samus’ ship will be used during gameplay, an intriguing twist that should cause the saliva glands of Metroid fans to work overtime."

The reward/penalize setup for the phazon limit sounds cool - and whether you're a Nintendo fanboy or not - riding Samus's ship should be awesome. In today's shooter game obsessed world, I can see Metroid Prime 3's sales competing well with even Mario Galaxy. These Wii games need to get released soon, the next 6 months look pretty dry.